ESB

I love bowling. What other sport does your performance actually improve as your alcohol consumption increases? I just bowled my first 700 series with games of 204 257 240. We always drink heavily during bowling league, but for the first time I even went to Happy Hour at Quivey’s Grove beforehand. I love the moral of this story!

I found out that in bowling circles "700" is a magic number. After hearing about it, all these old dudes started buying me celebratory shots like I just got married. I even made Ten Pin Alley’s Honor Roll! It’s sad that my life’s pleasures are coming to this...

I still really don't know what I'm doing. Most dudes in our league bring at least 4 balls for different oil conditions on the lane. Plus they adjust their aim down to an inch based on how their ball is reacting. Me? I just throw it & hope for the best. That's what I like about bowling over other sports like golf & tennis: it's pretty simple if you let it.

My average last year was 167. Then I bought my own ball & was pressured to learn the hook since I was the only straight-baller in our league. My average then reached 200 for one week before settling in the low 190s.

Everybody has a talent - mine happens to be drinking lots of beer & throwing a greasy ball 50 feet. I should retire since I'll never get a 700 again.

# posted by Eric B : 6:53 PM